Carte Blanche, COMPREHENDE?

Monday, May 14, 2007

Justify.

With regards to Ian's post, I do agree that people seek validation in whatever they do. As a fact, it is the raison d'etre in life. To know that what you do is acknowledged and the affirmation to continue what you've invested in. The validation that we indeed make a difference.

As for suaning, it might be a tool people use to elicit reaction from people around but it certainly isn't the most effective or ideal way to validate oneself.

Suaning, is quintessentially a form of ridicule. And whether it is used for denoting how comfortable close friends are with each other or (as in Ian's example) whether bullies use it as a confirmation of their assumed superiority over others, it still is making fun of another person, with the former being the exception that proves the rule. That's my contention.

Regardless of what people utilise it for, bottomline is: it's not nice and shouldn't be encouraged. Why I think of it this way is because there isn't a clear line as to where people break from teasing, to hurting (unconsciously or whatever). It's a grey area which varies from person to person. For some people, they might be able to tolerate or even laugh along with you. For others who are more sensitive, it is like a verbal stab. It might very well appear playful to the suanner, but I supppose the receiver could take it as you laughing at him. And that line is undeniably limpid to him. Doesn't serve to deepen the friendship if you ask me.

Speaking from an unpleasant experience, I dare say it gives me the license to say it isn't appreciated when you're suaned, especially since people our age take image as our priority.

Therefore I see no validation for its existence, taking into account the many other ways one can affirm a friend. I'd like to have it positive please. Not dished out to me in a form of an embarrassing suan. There are thousand and one ways people can use to validate themselves, but it remains a mystery why we choose to suan. I don't find it charming at all. On the contrary, it is pretty off-putting. At least to me. So why stake it, when there are fresher/more favourable alternatives?

I'd like to see the Josephian remembered not only for being the encourager, but also the sensitive brother that bothers to consider how all these subtle nitty-gritties affect their daily relationships with the community.

Thank you Ian for your insight, helped me think about this on a deeper level.

8:42 pm